The Milwaukee Lion is a thing that exists. At first I was extremely skeptical, but after a grainy video and a police confirmation, followed by weeks of stakeouts and attempted trappings, I have to, NAY want to, believe.

We may have gotten caught up in the hysteria ourselves...

We may have gotten caught up in the hysteria ourselves

As we get further into the summer without catching the lion, the city remains on edge. It’s times like these that Milwaukeeans need to turn to our best coping mechanism: drinking.

I’m surprised that some mixologist (cringe) hasn’t already crafted a new cocktail in honor of our regal, four-legged transplant. So naturally we at The Squeaky Curd had to take it upon ourselves.

Even we had our doubts.

Even we had our doubts.

The Milwaukee Lion Cocktail had to meet the following qualifications:

1) Golden or yellow in color, like the majestic mane of a lion.
2) Include booze.
3) Be made with only ingredients found in my apartment.

Taylor contemplating which terrible ingredient to choose from.

Taylor contemplating which terrible ingredient to choose.

The Losers #1:

Friend of The Curd, Taylor, volunteered to participate in this trial by fire. His sweet attempt was met with light applause.

Ingredients: Crown Royal, Great Lakes Distillery‘s Pumpkin Spirit, Barrel-Aged Gin, simple syrup, ice, Ginger Ale, and the all-important double-swirl.

The culprits.

The culprits.

Descriptions: “Sickly-sweet.” “I don’t think this’ll be super great.” “I’m pleased with the color.” “You could get messed up on that.” And, upon finishing, “Welp, found the rest of the alcohol.”

What monster have I created?

What monster have I created?

Grade: B+

The Loser #2:

Head Writer for The Curd, Joe, (stupidly) went for bold and unique.

Ingredients: ice, tequila, homemade Limoncello, Sprecher Cream Soda, Angostura bitters, quick stir, and a splash of grenadine (“blood of the Lion’s enemies”).

These are not friends.

These are not friends.

Descriptions: “Smells like aftershave…tastes like aftershave.” “Like a Lion-fight in a glass.” “The more I drink, the less I hate the drink. But the more I hate myself.”

From bad to worse.

From bad to worse.

Grade: D

The Winner:

After many deliberations and libations, we all agreed that Curd Editor, Katie, crafted a drink worthy of being referred to as The Milwaukee Lion Cocktail.

– 2 oz Brandy (this is Wisco, after all)
– 1 oz apple juice
– shake with ice, pour in glass
– Ginger Ale (to top)
– 1 Maraschino cherry

"hers" was best. #CocktailGlassCieling

“hers” was best. #CocktailGlassCeiling

It met all previous qualifications, and is easy enough for a bartender to actually make.

Taylor is both afraid and intrigued by the majestic Milwaukee Lion Cocktail.

Taylor is both afraid and intrigued by the majestic Milwaukee Lion Cocktail.

Descriptions: “Really good.” “Needs more Brandy.” “Good Fall drink.”

A Winner's smirk.

A Winner’s smirk.

There you have it: The Milwaukee Lion Cocktail. Order one at your local watering hole (by name, of course), and raise a toast to Katie and The Squeaky Curd for doing the hardcore journalism necessary to bring you the fiercest cocktail in the 414. But don’t invite this guy.

Milwaukee Lion (12)

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