Time to get wild near the water. Straddling the Milwaukee River downtown are Old World Third Street (west side) and Water Street (east side). Word to the wise: get someone else to drive you here; it’s going to be a long night.

(Follow along on The Standard Tour map!)

Popular places for a solid food base include Vagabond (street tacos), AJ Bombers (burgers), Ugly’s (pub food), and Ale Asylum Riverhouse (American). A touch classier will see you at the 100+ year old German Mader’s, or whiskey-lover’s Rumpus Room.

Wanna get weird? Trinity or Harp Irish Pubs are your places. Time for a dive? Rosie’s On Water still slings’m cheap. Get boisterous when boozed? Dance on the tables at Old German Beer Hall or tear up the table tennis courts at Evolution Gastro Pong.

Nothing helps soak up a night of liquid regrets like a slice of wonderful from Ian’s Pizza. Recommended method: get anything with potatoes on it, and smother it with ranch dressing.

Get home safe.

Looking for something else? Try one of our other Saturday night recommendations:

Quiet Night Out

Classy Night Out

Or move on to Sunday’s itinerary.

All photos by Joe Powell for The Squeaky Curd.