*Updated to include 3 new costumes for 2017. For more ideas, check out our 3 picks for 2015 and for 2016.*

This weekend Milwaukee celebrates All Hollows Eve – one of my favorite holidays. Halloween is the epitome of an American holiday: a night where you’re encouraged to spend money and time pretending to be someone you’re not, while gorging on sugar. There is no better example of this than the “sexy” costume. It seems like everyone takes this drunken night as an opportunity to let their hair down. If there can be a Sexy Female Corn Cob costume then anything can be sexy.

In our opinion, there’s nothing sexier than Milwaukee. Here’s how to dress like a true Milwaukeean while still picking up that Hanging Chad by the punch bowl.

Sexy Tom Barrett Streetcar Conductor

Though we ourselves wrote an article about the facts surrounding the new Milwaukee streetcar (“The Hop”), and even though it’s well under-construction, the hoopla and debate surrounding it continues. No figure is more divisive in the whole thing than Mayor Tom Barrett.

Required Costume Pieces

  • Suit, shirt, tie, and friendly grin (gray wig optional)
  • Homemade, wearable train car
  • Monopoly money

Images from Wikimedia, iStockPhoto, and PinImg.

Court controversy this weekend and dress up as Tom Barrett riding his streetcar, throwing away cash while you chug along.

Sexy Broken Collarbone Aaron Rodgers

Too soon? Too sexy? Too topical? No matter, this is a simple one. Bonus points for his gross preseason mustache. Super bonus points if your significant other goes as Olivia Munn.

Required Costume Pieces

  • Aaron Rodgers jersey
  • Sling
  • Mustache

Photos from USA Today, Amazon, and Esquire.

Don’t forget to tell every person at the party to reeeelaaaaaax.

Sexy UW-Milwaukee Freshwater Scientist

With Milwaukee continually trying to dub the Great Lakes region the “Fresh Coast”, and the recently hip (though largely unpopulated) Harbor View neighborhood getting local press, the UWM School of Freshwater Sciences is poised for huge growth in the coming years. Be the first on the brainiac bandwagon and go as a UWM Freshwater Scientist.

Required Costume Pieces

  • White lab coat
  • UWM logo printout
  • Big syringe / beaker full of Lake Michigan water

Images from Pinterest, UWM, eBay, and Etsy.

Just don’t drink the water.

While it’ll be hard to compete with our killer group costume last year, with 6 of us going as characters from Recess (long live King Bob!), I’m sure you’ll be a worthy competitor with one of the costumes above.

This and featured photos by Joe Powell for The Squeaky Curd.


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