Greetings and Salutations,
Last Thursday’s adventure at Three Cellars was a splendid delight with great beer and wine and even better people. As stated in last week’s article it was a night of class and elegance; but as you know, Welcome to Thursdays can only handle so much class before it needs to go back to its roots. Scaffidi’s Hideout (the name says it all, as it’s truly a hidden Milwaukee gem) is nestled just off Brady Street. This bar has become a favorite of mine, as when I walk in, it feels like I’ve been frequenting the bar for years; this is likely because Scaffidi’s has been held by the same family for over 40 years. Come on out this Thursday with us and let’s introduce the Scaffidi’s family to the Thursday Family!
On a more solemn note readers, I must assure you that this is not a drill, no tales of Old Milwaukee will be told today. As you all know, I was hot on the trail of the map that was given to me by an inebriated gnome. The map highlighted the next few Welcome to Thursdays stops. As outlined on the map, my next destination was a bar known as Scaffidi’s Hideout.
After finishing at Three Cellars, I called an Uber and made my destination Scaffidi’s. We were almost there when we pulled over unexpectedly. I asked the driver why we had stopped, he did not look at me but said: “I cannot go any further, and your destination is one that is neither here or there. Look beyond what you see to find what you seek – and beware of the ones with shoes!”
I got out of my Uber confused and at the edge of Brady Street. I found myself staring down a familiar site, a bustling Brady full of Milwaukeeans, all looking for a good time, all finding it in a glass of something. I started my walk towards the corner of Humboldt and Brady and felt very eerie. It was cold that night but even then, I felt a cooler chill down my spine. As I arrived at the corner, I looked back only to find a once bustling Brady now completely silent – not a single person could be found. All of the sudden, four silhouettes appeared in the middle of the street. They started walking towards me and the lights behind them began to shut off. One thing that remained clear was the sound their shoes made when they walked, it was that recognizable “clack” that formal dress shoes make on a hard surface. The silhouettes began to speed up, I turned and ran.
With no real direction, I just ran and thankfully found myself outside a familiar sight: Scaffidi’s Hideout. I was greeted at the door by someone in a cloaked hood, he simply yelled, “quick!” and held the door open. I ran inside, only to be shoved over the bar and into a small compartment. The door shut, and I was told to not make a sound. I found a small hole in the wall that I could see through and held my breath.
The door to Scaffidi’s opened and four men walked in. One of the men shouted, “We know he is here, just give us the cube and we will leave!” The bartender laughed and simply replied, “What are you talking about? There is no cube here, and we would very much like you to leave.” I heard the sound of a can opening, and the men in suits slowly backed up and left, as if something was scaring them away.
One peculiar thing I noticed about these strange men was their footwear, they all seemed to be wearing Allen Edmonds shoes. The door to the compartment slid open and the bartender took my hand, he handed me a golden banana and said, “When the time is right head to the Brass Monkey to continue your journey”. I grabbed the banana and the bartender poured me a beer before disappearing into the back. I was going to wait this thing out, but as soon as it was safe I was going to find answers…
Cheers my friends!
Your Co-founder and Friend,
Jeremy Jay Blandin
*Keeping your glass filled and spirits high one Thursday at a time, this is Welcome to Thursdays: a local social group determined to make your Thursdays more fun. Each Wednesday, The Squeaky Curd features a (generally) fictitious story of a Milwaukee County bar that we gather at on Thursday evening. Join us this Thursday, January 18, 2017 at Scaffidi’s Hideout, 1837 N. Humboldt (East Side), at 7:30pm.*